Becoming a More Christ-like Parent

Happy New Year! If you're anything like me, you have probably looked at this new year as a chance to start fresh, make some resolutions, and grow in some area of your life. One common resolution that I hear from parents almost every year is that they have a desire to make their faith more of a priority. Another common aspect of this resolution is that many parents want to prioritize Christianity for their family in the new year. Usually, this involves a greater emphasis on attending church, perhaps taking a family mission trip, or starting to read the Bible more frequently.

All of these resolutions and ideas are great, but today I want to present a new way to view your New Year's resolution. Instead of saying "I want faith to be a priority for my family," reframe it as "I want to be a more Christ-like parent." Have you ever thought about this?

What would it even look like to parent in a Christ-like manner?

While there are various sources from which people learn how to parent, including personal experience, cultural norms, and expert advice, scripture offers unique and valuable guidance on the topic of parenting. Unlike other sources, scripture provides timeless principles rooted in God's wisdom and love. It emphasizes qualities such as unconditional love, forgiveness, and servant leadership. Scripture offers a solid foundation for parenting by providing moral values, teachings on discipline, and the importance of cultivating a relationship with God.

All that might sound great, but you may be asking where to even start. I believe that we are all acutely aware of our shortcomings, and for those with kids, these shortcomings often affect your parenting. It may seem like an impossible task to parent like Jesus would. To make it easier, I have come up with 5 principles that I believe can level up your parenting in 2024.

Cultivate a strong personal relationship with God

This may seem like a no-brainer, but one of the easiest ways to begin parenting in a more Christ-like way is by having a strong relationship with God and modeling that for your child. I think that many of us want good relationships with the people we interact with on a daily basis (spouse, kids, coworkers, etc.), but we completely forget about our relationship with the God who created us and loves us.

In James 4:8, we are told to "draw near to God, and he will draw near to you." A close and personal relationship with Jesus is the starting point for the next four principles that I will share.

Demonstrate Unconditional Love

One prediction that I will make about your kids in 2024 is that they will mess something up. They will make a mistake. They may even do something that hurts you as their parent.

The temptation that we face as humans is to demonstrate love that is conditional. We may never say "I don't love you anymore" to those around us, but sometimes our actions convey that message. A parent may unintentionally demonstrate conditional love towards their kid by showing affection and approval only when the kid meets their expectations or achieves success. Scripture, however, teaches the importance of cultivating unconditional love, valuing and accepting kids for who they are, regardless of achievements or mistakes.

Romans 5:8 states that "God demonstrates His own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

Christ-like parenting requires Christ-like love. From this verse, we can see that this means our love should be unconditional. If anything, I believe that kids need our love MORE when they mess up and fail, in the same way that we need to feel God's love in those moments too.

Practice Active Listening

Have you ever been in a situation where you could tell that the person you were talking to was simply not listening to what you had to say? No matter what you are talking about, this can be extremely annoying and hurtful. This is a very common feeling that kids have about the adults in their lives.

Because parents often have their own priorities and things going on in their life, it can be difficult to actively listen to what is going on in the life of your kid. Let's be honest, to many adults, a breakup, a bad game, a failed test, a broken friendship, stress about getting into college, or fear of the unknown can be the least of your worries. But for kids and teenagers, these are HUGE factors that affect the quality of their lives. What they are looking for in a parent is someone who will actively listen to what they have to say.

An example that I come back to in scripture is the story of when Martha and Mary are crying to Jesus about the death of their brother Lazarus. In that moment, Jesus knows that there is a solution and everything will be alright, but instead of minimizing what they are going through, we read in one of the most profound verses in scripture that "Jesus wept." He was actively listening to the women, in the same way that God, our heavenly Father, listens to us. 1 John 5:14 actually states that this is the "confidence that we have in approaching God" that "He hears us."

Practice Forgiveness and Reconciliation

In a world of broken relationships, and very often, bad familial relationships, it is the calling of a Christ-like parent to demonstrate and practice forgiveness towards their kids. This principle comes back to the idea of unconditional love, but I wholeheartedly believe there is nothing more Christ-like than to practice forgiveness.

If I had a dollar for every dumb thing that I had done that probably hurt or frustrated my parents, I'd have a lot of dollars. I am immensely thankful, though, that my parents were always willing to offer forgiveness towards me, even when I didn't deserve it.

Ephesians 4:32 states, "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you." The Christ-like example found in scripture that you and I are urged towards is simply this: forgiveness.

Demonstrate Servant Leadership

The importance of servant leadership as a parent cannot be overstated. Servant leadership involves putting the needs and well-being of others, in this case, our children, before our own. It is about leading by example, demonstrating humility, empathy, and compassion. By adopting a servant leadership mindset, parents have the opportunity to cultivate a loving and nurturing environment where their children feel valued, respected, and supported.

This approach to parenting encourages open communication, collaboration, and mutual respect, fostering a strong parent-child bond. It also teaches children the values of empathy, kindness, and servant-heartedness, which they can carry into their own lives as they grow. Ultimately, servant leadership as a parent empowers children to thrive, develop their own leadership skills, and positively impact the world around them.

Honestly, I think that for many adults, they do consider their primary calling to "serve" their kids. Often times, though, this service is forced and out of a place of spite. Instead, I think we need to reframe servant leadership and realize that there are few things more Christ-like than serving others. Mark 10:45 even goes as far as to say that "even the Son of Man (Jesus) came not to be served but to serve." If servant leadership is good enough for Jesus, I think it is good enough for you and me as well.

Conclusion

In this New Year, let us aspire to be Christ-like. Drawing inspiration from Scripture, we can cultivate unconditional love, forgiveness, and servant leadership. By actively listening to our children and prioritizing their needs, we create a nurturing environment that fosters growth and connection. May this year be a time of grace and transformation as we strive to reflect the love and teachings of Jesus in all of our relationships, especially with those we love the most.